The Courage To Follow Your Dreams (w/ Ryan Weeden)

Imagine losing everything only to find yourself on a completely new and fulfilling path. That's exactly what happened when societal expectations and personal setbacks led us from failed attempts at acting and bartending in New York City to a life-changing moment spurred by the tragic events of 9/11. In this episode, we share the raw, heartfelt journey of moving to Las Vegas and navigating the struggles that led to a passion for hairstyling, reignited by a serendipitous encounter. Join us as we reveal how these tumultuous experiences became the stepping stones to discovering one's true calling and the power of pursuing dreams on one's own terms.

But the story doesn't stop there. We delve into the emotional rollercoaster of transforming failure into success, recounting how a digital product venture's collapse and financial ruin laid the foundation for a new beginning. Discover how hitting rock bottom and working at Starbucks catalyzed a profound spiritual awakening and self-discovery. We'll reveal the significance of embracing courage over conformity, sharing a personal experience of overcoming anxiety in Maui. This episode is a testament to the strength found in resilience, the importance of following one's soul, and the magic that happens when you choose progress over perfection.

Be Bold, be Brave, be You.

Thanks for you listening.
-Ryan


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Chapters

• 0:00 Journey of Self-Discovery and Career
• 12:00 Embracing Discovery and Overcoming Failure
• 20:34 Choosing Courage for Transformation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:36

I just want to ask you something have you ever in your adult life looked in the mirror and thought to yourself, wow, I thought I'd be further along by now that Ryan the one drinking the Truly in the video? I know I made light of it, made fun of it, but that was me. I was a hairstylist, and that was right around 2006-ish. I was broke, I was depressed, I was anxious. Clients were ruining and running my life. I didn't see any future in it. I didn't have vision. I mean, there were times that I would wake up and I thought the world might just be better without me. I feel you, but before I continue with that, because I ended up. You might not have known this, but shortly after there, I quit hair. I quit doing it. I didn't see a future in it and somebody that I was with at the time told me that Ryan, being a hairstylist just isn't good enough. You need to get a real job. So I did what I thought I needed to do and I manned up. I quit doing hair and got a real job. But let me just again. Let me just back it up for a minute.

Speaker 1: 2:18

For years, for years, I did what other people told me to do, not, because I just didn't know any difference. It's just that's parents, teachers, friends they basically said follow the plan. What was the plan? The plan was what society tells you. The plan is you go to college, you get a job, you get married, you have kids, you retire and hopefully, you die fat and happy. Right, that's the plan. You follow the plan. It's worked for generations. So we think, and of course, we find out that you know, generations have been depressed for generations. But I didn't know any better, so I followed the plan. I went to college to be a doctor or something. I'm not like, I wasn't going to be a doctor. Let's just be clear about that. I'm not doctor smart, I was like. So I'm smart. But you know, my hair was a hairdresser, just kidding. But you know what I'm saying. We're creative. We don't have that same kind of focus. And I, you know I didn't want to work on cadavers and stuff and that was just yeah, memories of the smell, I mean I still see it.

Speaker 1: 3:24

So, senior year of college, I felt this calling for more. I just I know that you probably all feel this too, that you feel like there's more for you out there. You might not be sure what that is, what direction you should go, but you feel like there's more for you out there. Even if you're doing what you love, you still maybe imagine more. Imagine following a dream and just going in with conviction and I'm like you know what I need to start living my life. And I had a dream I'm going to be an actor. Like that was my dream. I'm going to be not just an actor, a famous actor, right. So I changed my major dramatic arts. I'm like I'm living my life, I'm taking control of my life. And it felt good.

Speaker 1: 4:02

So I moved to New York City, became a bartender, basically I did some acting work here and there, but I realized, okay, this was not really working out for me. I didn't find that real passion in acting and I didn't want to live my life as a starving artist. So I was also broke and I had taken out loans and I decided that being an actor wasn't for me. I tried it for a couple years. I was there during 9-11. That was a big wake-up call for the entire world. But I was there and it was a big wake-up call for me personally as well. I watched the towers actually collapse with my own eyes. I was that close. I still remember that morning and then I started to think about where I wanted my life to be. You know, you think about a lot of things when you see other people's world's end. You start to think about yourself and your own mortality. And I didn't want to continue living like this. I didn't feel like I was being fulfilled, so I threw in the towel, I moved out of New York, I quit my dream and I moved to Las Vegas where my parents were living at the time Not really a good place to move when you're depressed and if you really want to feel bad about yourself, move in with your parents after you failed in the real world. That was great.

Speaker 1: 5:30

So I got this bartending job and I'm working there. I'm trying to figure things out. And what did they say? They say, ryan, you know you tried it, you gave it your best, and I know I did. They say why don't you just go back to school? And again, this is how they were raised. This is the plan. There wasn't a lot of successful dream chasers in their life and in many people's lives.

Speaker 1: 5:52

So I decided to go back to school and I went back to a community college to start working on. I was going to be a physical therapist or something you know. I was going to be a physical therapist or something you know. I was just start taking science classes again. That's the plan, right? I wasn't getting very good grades, but I was there and I didn't know any better. So I went in there and after a couple months it just didn't feel right.

Speaker 1: 6:14

So one day I was just like looking for something else to do. I had to get out of this. But I needed just something else. My soul was calling me for something else. This is not you, ryan. You need to start living your life again.

Speaker 1: 6:28

And then I met this girl and her mom was a hairdresser and she showed me this article one day and it was about these two hairdressers up in the San Francisco Bay area. And there were these two men and they were competing salons and it was an article just about how they have very different vibes and businesses. But each person, each stylist, was making over $500 an hour, and this was in 2003,. And I was like I want to do that. I just had my sights on. I need to make more money. I need more money. I need more money. I need to find a way to do that because I thought it would make my life better. So I was also inspired. I'm like, hairdressing Never thought about that and my mom usually parted my hair for all my school photos. I'm like, but sure, why not? It's something new and it's a reason for me to get out of this trap that I'm in. So this calling told me to go to hair school. I jumped into cosmetology school and I became a hairstylist, got my first high-end salon job almost right after school and I'm instantly charging $65 a haircut. I'm like, oh yes, I am on my way to stardom. I'm going to do this. I'm going to be one of those guys. I put that article up on the wall and I'm like, I'm going to be those guys right there. I'm going to be raking in the dough just high-ticket clients left and right. This is the direction for me. The dough, just high-ticket clients left and right. This is the direction for me.

Speaker 1: 7:55

After about three years didn't pan out. I didn't get a full clientele. I was still paycheck to paycheck. I was broke. I didn't know how to get more clients in my chair. I didn't know how to raise my prices. This was before Instagram, before all this education on how to build our business and take control of our careers, and I was lost. And that was that guy on the screen.

Speaker 1: 8:11

I didn't see a future in hair. I was limited and I was trapped by this label of a hairdresser that, oh, you're just a hairdresser. Oh, when are you going to get a real job? So I had to live with this. People made fun of me for being a hairdresser for years because I'm a guy in the hairdressing business, and guys back then, especially straight guys we got made fun of. I had all these friends that were very successful, and the girl that I was with, she kept comparing me to her friends. Oh well, he's so successful. Look at him, he's making all this money. You need to get a real job. So I was like crap, all right, I'm going to man up, I'm going to quit hair. So I quit, I threw in the towel, got the first real job I could find.

Speaker 1: 8:59

The year was 2008. And if you remember that time, or you may of you were just born then, but if you remember that time, there was a big recession happening, the market crashed with housing, and so there weren't a lot of jobs out there, and you know I really wasn't qualified to do anything except maybe, you know, work at one of those like resorts and be like a singing waiter or something. But I couldn't really sing, so that didn't really help me either. You know I couldn't really dance either. The other reason why the acting thing just didn't work out, you know I do a lot of like undulating and thrusting and whatever my daughter's copying me, I'm going to put her in dance classes as soon as I can so she doesn't actually become me with the way I dance.

Speaker 1: 9:42

So I got this real job and if you've ever seen that movie, office Space, it was just like that. It was cubicle hell. It smelled like Windex and cake every single day. It was always somebody's birthday. Little space heaters at your feet keep you warm and toasty. You got blankets and you're like, why is it so cold in here? Because one person in there runs hot.

Speaker 1: 10:08

So then I got even more depressed. I fell even deeper into this hole. I just looked in the mirror and I'm like I've failed over and over and over again. I felt like I failed as a hairstylist. I failed as a student. I failed as a son. I felt like I failed as a friend. I just felt like such a failure. The person I was with ended up leaving me anyway. So I was basically all alone and I knew there was more for me. I knew there was something else for me and I started to feel this calling again. It's like this is not my path, this is not where I'm supposed to go. Get the fuck away from this job. You got to do something more with your life. I don't know what it is, but something's knocking on my door, say Ryan, you got to answer that door. So I ended up doing this real estate thing and sucked at real estate. Pretty much failed at that too.

Speaker 1: 11:09

But in this time here I met this guy who's funny enough. His name was Guy and also funny in creating this time on my stage here. He's like a guide. He was like a guide for me. He was like a mentor. He took me under his wing. He taught me so much. He was like a guide for me. He was like a mentor. He took me under his wing. He taught me so much. He was like Yoda for me. Again, you know heroes, superheroes, yoda. So Yoda for me. He taught me about marketing, online marketing. He told me about recurring revenue. He told me about the importance of mindset. He taught me about business and branding All of these tools that I'd never experienced before in my life and I was again. I was intrigued and he's like Ryan, do you want to go into business together? And I said, yes, yes, I do. I am so inspired by all this. Let's go into business.

Speaker 1: 12:01

So we created this incredible digital product and we started to get this money coming in and we invested it right back into the company and I was so sure that this idea was going to work out, so sure that the business was going to just be the answer to millions of dollars and richness in my life private planes and everything because I was just set on all these tangible things. But then the product itself it didn't sell like we thought it would, so it tanked and it failed. Now it's $40,000 in credit card debt. Again. We departed ways.

Speaker 1: 12:37

It was a sad day when we did that, because I'm like I just chalked that up to the list of failures in my life. But I got really stoned one night Is weed really even still a drug? And I had an epiphany and I realized that this failure was almost like an eye-opening moment for me. It was like an aha. I didn't feel like it was as much of a failure because of everything I had learned and I'm like, wait a minute, the acting, the hairstyling, the marketing business and branding, mindset and recurring revenue and all that stuff these were puzzle pieces. They weren't failures.

Speaker 1: 13:23

I'm like what if I put all this together? I love doing hair, I love the marketing and I love being on stage and acting. I'm like what if I do this? I'm like, okay, I felt inspired, so made this giant pot of coffee one night and I'm like I created this vision board and I put pen to paper and I'm like I'm getting back into hair. I have zero clients. I'm starting from absolute scratch and I'm over my head. It broke. What am I going to do? I'm like you know what? It was a hard decision, but I'm like I want to wipe this clean. So I declared bankruptcy. I'm like canceled out all my debts. Of course, credit ding for still, but absolutely worth it. I'm like you know what? I'm going to get a part-time job at Starbucks. I'm going to start building up my clientele. I'm going to do everything it takes to be successful in this business as a hairstylist. I am inspired.

Speaker 1: 14:19

I know that these are puzzle pieces and every one of these failures was not a failure, it was a discovery. It was a discovery into my soul and this pull just kept telling me follow your soul. Follow what your soul is telling you. It is trying to lead you in the right direction. And I've gotten a lot more spiritual along this journey. You know I don't have a lot of crystals and everything, but that's Jenny Strebe, she'll be on later. But I was just, I couldn't wait and I started following that path and it felt good and I was convicted and I'm like nothing is going to stop me now. Successful salon, successful education, successful business, successful mindset and I'm positive. I know that whatever faces me now, I can handle it because I believe now and I believe that my journey was that of a hero's journey Ups and downs, epic discoveries but you got to keep going forward and you got to keep growing from it.

Speaker 1: 15:22

Recently I also heard this recording and I want you to write this down, if you can see in the dark this guy, earl Nightingale. When I was creating this presentation up here for you, I was listening to some things and he has this audio recording from the 1950s, one of the most powerful things you will probably ever hear in your entire life. It's called the Greatest Secret in the World. You know that one Uh-huh, the greatest secret in the world. And he said something that was an epiphany for me, and I had heard him before years before. But then it's like when you revisit something at the right time, it really starts to ring true to you, and this was the moment that really rung true to me.

Speaker 1: 16:04

And he said in his audio recording he said do you know what the opposite of courage is? It's not cowardice, it's conformity. So we got to rebel against that. We got to stop doing what the label tells us. We got to do. We got to live our life according to our soul's path. We got to fight every single day. Think about it If you were diagnosed with a terminal disease and you had two years left to live, if you were diagnosed with a terminal disease and you had two years left to live, what would you do differently? Start doing that today. Start doing that today If you're not following that path. Start doing it today, because progress is better than perfection. Start today. Today, even if you don't get there, you will feel that richness, that power of following your dreams, fighting against conformity. I decided it was time to live my life. I said this is my life. Say my life, yeah. Now I want to leave you with this short story.

Speaker 1: 17:18

Recently, my family and I took a trip to Maui and it was a beautiful vacation. There was this cliff, these black rocks off in the distance that these people would line up and go see. They would actually climb up it and jump off it every single day and it was just like it's like 30 feet, it's 30 foot cliff and it was just magical to watch. It had this like spiritual bit to it and like the story behind it which I can't remember, but I was like drawn to it, this whole vacation every single day. We're there for maybe four days and I just kept looking out there as I was sipping my pina colada. I'd be like be four days and I just kept looking out there as I was sipping my pina colada. I'd be like that'd be cool to do, but I'm afraid, I'm afraid. And then, you know, once I started drinking, I'm like, well, now I'm drinking, so I don't want to do that. I don't want to be a bad example of what not to do. So like that day went away, next day came. I look at that. I'm like that'd be so cool. It's like kids were doing it, adults were doing it All ages, and they were jumping in and it just looked so cool, but it also looked so dangerous. I'm like I really want to do that.

Speaker 1: 18:20

And on the last day I looked at that cliff and it was the morning just before the pina coladas came, and I'm like Ryan, you have a choice to make. Are you going to do it? And I asked myself a question. I'm like would I be upset, would I have regret if I didn't do it? And I asked myself that and the answer yes, I would feel regret if I did not do it.

Speaker 1: 18:50

So I said, jenny, my wife, I'm going to go jump off that cliff. She's like, okay, you want me to record it. It wasn't a big deal to her, but it was a big deal in here. Because I'm like, just here we go. And she's like, yeah, let's do a corporate video. And she's like, yeah, ryan's going to go do a dive on this cliff. I'm like, no, no, not a dive, I'm just jumping, like I'm not a diver, no, I'm not going to be graceful about it. So she's like, okay, it was really far away. I mean, it was going to take me a bit to get out there, so she's, I'll make sure I record it. Cool, we did a pre-recording and everything and it was cool and I'm like, here I go.

Speaker 1: 19:30

So all along the way, I'm like you've got courage, you can do this. I'm pumping myself up, it's almost like a big game and I'm pumping myself. I'm like you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it. Channel that light, like I can't. Just, people were walking up this cliff earlier in the week, but nobody was doing it today, and they put the sign up that said falling rocks. And I'm like I'm not going up that way. Nobody else is.

Speaker 1: 19:56

I'm not going to be that bad example, but swimming is something that I don't really do that well, I swim, I can swim, but it's like I just, you know, fear of drowning, you know, and without like floaties or anything. I don't fear of drowning, you know, and without like floaties or anything. I was not a surfboard to grab onto when you crash on the wave. There were people around and so you know what I said I'm going to swim out there. And it was maybe, I don't know how far away it was maybe from here to where the booth is over there, you know, and it was deep, you know there's nothing to stand on. You got to swim up that rock, climb up the rock. So I said, okay, let's do this, ryan, you've got this.

Speaker 1: 20:35

Started swimming out there, not like this. I was doing breaststroke, let's be real about it Breaststroke, breaststroke, breaststroke. But then I get about a third of the way out there and I start panicking and I'm like, okay, what if I just get too tired? And I'm breathing heavy now and this anxiety is I've been plagued with anxiety my whole life like bad anxiety. Sometimes I couldn't even like drive a car, that kind of anxiety. But I'm starting to feel that panic coming on, panic and panic. And I'm just like Ryan, you're doing great, slow down, enjoy the moment, enjoy the water, the way it feels.

Speaker 1: 21:13

And I started to calm myself down for the first time ever swimming in my life. I'm calming myself down and I'm doing the breaststroke and I'm just like this is amazing. I got this, I believed in myself and it felt great. And I got to that rock and I climbed up and I'm looking down and I'm just like whoa, that's far. And I'm like went down there, I hit the water. I'm like, whoa, yes, I run back. I'm like tears in my eyes. I was so excited.

Speaker 1: 21:49

And I come back to where my wife was sitting and she looks at me. She's like did you go? I'm like you didn't get it. She's like no, I saw you walk out there and you were looking at the rocks for a while and then I thought you turned around and walked away. I'm like you thought I gave up. Do you know what I did? I did it again. Always choose courage over conformity. Courage is what's going to take you to that next level, and I know you all have it in you and you are here and you are ready for a transformation. Today and with the rest of your life, start writing your story today.